TWO HANDS
Heath Ledger, Rose Byrne and Bryan Brown in an unforgettable slice of late-’90s Australian cinema.
REVIEW SCORE
I’ve often described horror films as time capsules of the eras that produced them. Take Friday the 13th. The early-’80s entries were born out of the exploitation slasher craze, while the late-’80s sequels practically reeked of that pop-punk, party-hard slasher vibe. You can’t authentically reproduce these films today. They weren’t made to LOOK like the ‘80s. They WERE the ‘80s. Organic products of their time.
Curiously, I don’t tend to apply the same thinking to other genres. Dramas, thrillers and even comedies (though to a lesser extent) generally manage to transcend their eras and retain some relevance, political correctness aside. But I draw the line at Two Hands, the 1999 Aussie comedy-drama. My reasoning? LATE-’90S AUSTRALIANA, BABY!
Two Hands stars a young Heath Ledger (RIP) and Rose Byrne, both looking really ridiculously good looking (Zoolander reference) in this film. Throw in Aussie icon Bryan Brown, familiar Sydney locations—including the now removed SYDNEY MONORAIL—and a cracking Australian soundtrack, and you’ve effectively captured Australia in 1999 forever on film.
Watching this now, as an old dude in my 40s, takes me straight back to my late teens. Not some sanitised retro recreation. The real thing. Side note: I developed a massive crush on Rose Byrne after seeing this movie. It’s been fantastic watching where her career has taken her since.
The story follows Jimmy (Ledger), a young bloke with loose ties to Sydney’s criminal underworld through his late older brother, who was apparently a bit of a somebody in that scene, thus his now late status. Jimmy needs money. His brother’s former employer, Pando (Brown), has money. Pando offers Jimmy a few odd jobs in exchange for some cash. You get it.
Naturally, one of these jobs goes horribly wrong when Jimmy fails to deliver a wad of cash he’s been entrusted with. Pando wants to know where the heck his cash has gone, and his crew begins hunting Jimmy down. Meanwhile, Jimmy strikes up a romance with his mate’s sister, Alex (Byrne), inadvertently dragging her into the whole ordeal. The tension builds until mere seconds separate Jimmy’s fate between life and death.What sets Two Hands apart from your average ‘young bloke messes with the wrong criminals’ thriller is just how Australian it all is. Mobile phone batteries die mid-pursuit. A neglected, filthy gun jams during an execution. Despite the stakes, the whole thing has this wonderfully lazy-arse, she’ll-be-right attitude that absolutely REEKS of late-’90s Australia.
And I’m here for it.
But the ultimate scene—the one that deserves special attention—is the bank heist.
Desperate to pay Pando back before he winds up dead, Jimmy hits up some of his late brother’s connections and joins a bank robbery. The getaway car? A 1990 Toyota Celica. LOL. Because of course it is.
Then, in spectacularly Australian fashion, everything goes “tits up”. One of Jimmy’s fellow robbers trips over mid-heist and knocks himself out cold. Jimmy is suddenly left dragging an unconscious bloke out of a bank while simultaneously lugging a massive duffel bag of cash. It’s clumsy, awkward, completely unexpected and absolutely HILARIOUS. I can’t do it justice. You have to see it.
Between the performances, the contrast of beautiful daytime Sydney and its seedy nighttime underbelly, the razor-sharp script and the cinematography, Two Hands is an all-round solid Australian film. One of our best, in my opinion.
And the soundtrack? Songs from bands such as Powderfinger AND Crowded House? COME ONNNNN! If this movie didn’t bring in a few tourist bucks, I’d be genuinely surprised.
Special mention has to go to Ledger and Byrne, because watching them here is like peering into the futures of two extraordinary careers. The talent just oozes out of them. Their chemistry feels so natural that you forget you’re watching actors exchange dialogue; they simply feel like two young people falling in love. It’s sad to see Ledger’s career cut short by tragedy. However, this film and many others can at least carry his memory for those that didn’t know him.
Oh and honourable mention goes to Bryan Brown. Perfectly cast as Pando. An unlikely but genuinely feared and ruthless crime boss who spends his days knocking back short VB stubbies, wearing footy shorts and thongs, with a handle bar moustache. Could you imagine anyone more Australian? Chopper Reed-like but less crazy.
Times are tough in Australia right now. If you’re craving a little authentic taste of how things used to be—whether you lived through the era or weren’t even born yet and NEED TO KNOW— do yourself a favour. Watch Two Hands this weekend.
Better yet, find a video store and rent it, 1990s-style. Crack a VB, pull on your shortest footy shorts and enjoy.